So sad, her eyes

Hmm that title is weird but i like it.

Yeah so sim is going out with that boy of hers...

It hurts so friggen much, i can't tell you.

It's just not fair... he gets to have her... when i want her more than he does... he doesn't even like queen and sophie reckons he sounds like an arsehole.

I wish i wasn't alone. I've never had a boyfriend, and i've never really felt like i needed one but i do now.. maybe as some sort of competition.. or maybe just to take my mind off her.

I wish i was at least interested in someone else.. but i'm not. I've resorted to fantasising about non-existent guys that look like movie stars (mmm hot guy in war of the worlds...) who are beautiful and funny and kind and the perfect boyfriend. Which is ridiculous but at least it keeps my mind away from certain things i dont want to think about.

I was sort of ok with it for a while... and then a couple of nights ago i kind of had a relapse. I just lay there dwelling on the events of the past few weeks... almost cried... which is weird, i haven't cried at all since i found out that they were actually going out, even when i found out by accident and figured that she was keeping it from me.

I never knew someone i love so much could make me hurt so bad.

And i don't think she realises just how upset i am. I wish i could tell her, but i feel bad because i'm sure she feels kinda bad too...

Every time i mention something about how im upset, she says how she always says she's sorry... but sorry doesn't do shit. Sorry doesn't stop her from being with him, and sorry doesn't stop me from having no-one, and desperately wanting someone to love me...

It's the nicest feeling in the world, knowing that someone loves you just as much as you love them...

I didn't have a problem with not being loved, i didn't really care at all... but now that it's being ripped away from me, i want it so so much.

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!
I wish i could cry my eyes out.. but for some reason, the tears just aren't coming...
And i reckon it'd make me feel better... but no such luck

God is an arsehole. Why did he let this happen? And how about Adam... i hate him with a passion, i really do. Why the fuck did he have to talk to her? Why the fuck did he have to take her away from me... I love her so much and the just the thought of her with someone else is like a whole heap of knives repeatedly plunging into my chest. And knowing that it's happening is even worse.